Kaustubh Date
on 28 August, 2012

How to choose the right engineering college. NOT.

Dear Engineering Aspirants,

This article is specially for you guys. Today I'm going to discuss the most significant problem that you face after finishing your class 12th which is how to select an engineering college. Here I'm going to discuss some of the factors which you should not forget to consider before you choose the college. So now its straight to the point:
Sleep: Always remember a college close to where you stay necessarily means more amount of sleep. Engineering requires you to have a bat's lifestyle - awake till late in the night. Well now you might posses that extraordinary skill to sleep while standing in the train. However it can be no match to the the comfort of your bed. So select a college closest to your house.
Attendance: Well now this is a point which needs the most elaboration. In class 12th you must have scored 97% PCM with attendance close to 3%. However in engineering its fair enough to fail but you need to clear defaulters' list.
In a way it is like you are wasting your fees to waste your time. The fact that you don't get to waste your father's fees is against your basic freedom of choice. So I suggest you get Anna Hazare to fast for the Anti-Attendance Bill or file a lawsuit in the court and with the efficiency of Indian courts you can rest assured that at least your son will get the freedom to waste your money.
Well now you might think this rule must have been made keeping in mind those commerce or arts students who would otherwise spend their time causing nuisance to the society and hence it is fair that they are sentenced to 75% rigorous attendance, you are wrong my dear friends. It is made and meant for engineering students. Why so?
Engineering is supposed to be a low scoring course. You are not expected to score more than what you did in the boards. So no efforts are spared to ensure that your 8 hours get wasted in form of lectures and practicals.. In engineering terms the college will make sure that maximum 75% propagation delay gets added to your studies. So never select a college which reads,"Beware of dogs...oops..Beware of attendance."
Girlfriend: When you enter engineering, most of you might expect to see chikni chamelis, jawan sheelas and badnaam munnis, if nothing atleast the sexy 36-24-36 hyperbola. If this is what you expect then its the time you give joining engineering a second thought. Switch over to commerce I suggest. In engineering what you will get to see is only 24-36-24 ellipse or a straignt line. As engineers you are expected to look at efficiency more than aesthetic appeal. In engineering you are blessed with truckloads of assignments. So the only eligibility criteria your girlfriend is expected to meet is that she should be able to write at a speed of 10 pages per minute. Handwriting no bar. The plain truth is that your professors are just as interested to read your assignments as you are interested to write those. You copy blindly, the blindly put a tick mark. A tit for tat!
Termwork: It is always advisable to choose a business class college which charges 6 figure fees as they consider giving you good termwork a part of business class customer service. However there are other economy class colleges which will provide you only indian railways general compartment toilet like termwork. So it is as simple, the more fees you pay the more marks you get.
Teaching: Teaching in an engineering college is of the form 0 + iw, in short, purely imaginary with no 'real' part. Any resemblance to reality is purely co incidental. This is something you cannot expect in an engineering college. The better qualifications that make an engineering professor are that he/she must be good at supervision and other policing duties. So it wouldn't be surprising to find that professors are more interested in tearing your assignments completed during lectures, and finding out what eatables you have hidden inside the desk. Apart from the policing duties and if time permits, they carry out a process called as teaching. You might for instances understand what the priest recites during marriage or funeral but to understand what is taught in an engineering college will only require divine intervention. You would even liken watching Ram Gopal Verma's movies like Agyaat (this was one movie which many film critics outright refused to rate), Not a love story etc..  to attending lectures. 
Fines: There are certain colleges in which every offence is converted to fine. Fines are even imposed for sitting on the desk. True story. So do not forget to ask your seniors on an average how much they spent on paying fines.
Placements: This is one unnecessarily over rated factor. Whenever you will go for placements do not forget to carry your beddings along. If the notice says placements will begin at the crack of dawn then it actually means by sunset. The interviewer will make you feel even worse than Kasab in front of public prosecutor Ujwal Nikam. However placement should not be a consideration at all. You will not be left unemployed after completing your engineering. However you can do much better for yourself without a job than with a job. Placement is often the easiest option in front of you and it will naturally tempt to take what is the easiest than to slog and slog for more rewarding avenues such as MS/MTech, MBA or IAS etc.. 
So here is a small check list...
All the best your engineering career!!!

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