Once upon a time, in front of an overenthusiastic bunch of budding engineers at XYZ College of Engineering -

Teacher: ...and this semester, we'll be having a very exciting project!
Student 1: Ooooooh, now we're talking.
Student 2: Yeah! I'm going to grab my chance and impress the world!
Rebecca Black as Student 3: Fun fun fun fun, looking forward to the weekend!

In an ideal world, this would be true. The one where the glass is always full, and the girl slash guy you like, likes you too. In the real world, nah, the above scenario is not ideal. We think we have enough pointlessness filling our plates to be further burdened with ludicrous projects that only feign to mean so much. One must really question the intention of those educationists sitting smug in their offices at Mumbai University's Kalina campus. But then again, we are from a land where critically acclaimed books are shuffled out of the syllabus only because they dare to question certain political elements of our society. For obvious reasons, although tempted to continue, I must stop at that.

Despise them as we might, there is still no avoiding them. Apart from the apparently all important fourth year BE project, there will a few lined up to lap up all the free time you have left. While working yourself is annoying enough, having to co-ordinate with a group complicates matters to no end.

The saying goes, 'Two heads are better than one*'. Fair. But hold on...what's that? A Star?

Ahh...the infamous Conditions Apply star. And after a holistic research into the matter, I have finally stumbled upon those covert conditions. Integrating the good ol' saying with respect to the secret conditions we get - 'Two level-headed, perfectly in sync, and equally knowledgeable heads are better than one'.

To put that into perspective, if you try eliminating your prospective partners by applying the above conditions, you'd have wiped out 99% of all creatures (human, dog and dinosaur alike) to have ever walked the face of the Earth. If I may put it simply- you will not find anyone that you'd rather do a project with, than yourself. Unless you're in love. God bless you then.

Even if you do run into a few tolerable specimens, you'll find that the ratio of time spent together to the amount of work done is generally undefined. That's infinity by zero, as all but a few diploma students should know.

The only plus I see here - more people to share the blame in the very likely case of a screwed up end product. Or for lazy bums like me, bakras to pass the buck onto. Otherwise, at least for Computers and IT students, three blokes staring at a single computer screen simply doesn't make much sense.

On an average, the amount of effort you're likely to put into one of these things is directly proportional to the number of marks it might fetch you (generally, peanuts). Most would get the point, do just about what's required of them, and move on. Either a minimalistic piece of shit, or a haphazardly reworked one à la Anu Malik and Pritam. 'Cos in the end, it doesn't even matter.

However, notable exceptions include the type who'd move mountains for said peanuts. Those who find some sadistic pleasure in overworking themselves and anyone sorry enough to be loitering around. We can forgive them if they actually find what they're doing to be vaguely interesting. Otherwise... God bless them too.

On a more serious note, it's actually a good thing. It could tell you what might or might not entice you as a career. Because when it comes to theory - Jo dikhta hai woh hota nahi, aur jo hota hai woh dikhta nahi! The true essence of a topic will only be found outside the 350 pages of its textbook. What you can do with it in the real world. For eventually, we all have to feed ourselves. And if you're amongst those clueless souls still wondering how, it wouldn't harm you to find some point in the pointlessness. There must be something out there you'd like.

If that still doesn't work, just join sweet daddy's business. Or do an MBA, and start your own. And then when it comes to projects you can proudly say, "I believe, in Anu Malik".

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