In an unusually usual turn of events, Saaf-Safai Singh, a student from a prominent Engineering College has taken the University of Mumbai to the Hon. Supreme Court of India. He proclaims the handwriting rule by the University is draconian and that he is representing the weary helpless virgins engineering students. He said he could write only 1 sheet of his paper in 3 hours due to the University’s stringent policy of maintaining good handwriting in the answer sheets. The judge thought his hand might be aching due to you know… too much of... Nevermind! But when 120 others came with the same plea, the judge was convinced that this was a serious issue and needed immediate attention.

Safai claimed he took around 45 minutes to fill the circles with utmost precision. As a student of Robotics, he had developed a miniature robotic arm which functioned as a compass and used it precisely to fill the circles. He said since the University wanted neatness, he took special forensic measuring equipment to measure angle of letters along with proper measurements for each Greek symbol. Another student Kachra Kapoor said, “This is pure insane. Are they testing us on our handwriting in the digital age? I mean they did not bother about my answer when I drew Babaji ka Thullu for Fleming left hand rule. I got full marks but this is totally unacceptable” Our reporter asked him how much he managed to write with neat handwriting to which he started crying profusely and said only 28 pages. Our reporter was about to hit him with a rod but he controlled himself. Another student told us that he barely wrote 1 answer that too half. He said he had to focus on the alignment of the paragraph, styling and maintaining spacing and height of characters for visual delight.

The University official told our reporter, “See we do not produce doctors but donkeys Engineers each year. We do not expect them to learn fundamentals of the technical world from this course! HAHA that would be asking too much! But at least we expect them to learn to NOT have handwriting like a doctor or CAPTCHA. Thus the stringent policy”

Chate has started ‘Handwriting Speaks for itself’ classes and Mahesh Tutorials is already training 4^th standard kids to produce good writing and prepare them for Engineering. Parents are all frenzied and Cello Gripper has claimed to have their sales raised by 35000% since this idea. Modi has been linked to this draconian rule by Digvijay Singh. IIM’s have added a section called ‘Writing Quality’ and have removed Quant and PI sections. The IIT’s will now follow the footsteps of MU. A senior placement officer said, “From now on, we will be testing students on their writing skills. These people have forgotten good handwriting due to typed fonts”.   

Time will tell what happens next. Our reporter was apparently lectured on his writing skills due to which he is now in court in protest.